Don't fuck with Chuck

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man,and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not ChuckNorris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.


Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"


The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron’s ass halfway through the first chapter.

Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.

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